It’s been around a year since I decided to change my mindset and the way I choose to see and talk about people, and changing my mentality has been nothing but extremely rewarding to my inner self and those around me. At this moment, some people (mostly close people) still have a hard time believing me when I tell them that I am not that old-me anymore (that person full of negativity and criticism towards others) because I spent so many years in my life being that person, that somehow it became part of me and it’s the image that others have about me.
There were many times in which I wondered why I had so much trouble making (and keeping) friends, which is something that I still struggle with despite being on the path of completely changing my mindset and view of the world. My whole life I’ve spent it struggling with friendships and I always made the mistake of blaming others or blaming external factors, but I did fail to realize that part of my struggle was simply because I was being someone or acted like someone that people simply didn’t want to be around.
And honestly (now that I think about it), I believe that I always knew it deep down but I never wanted to acknowledge it, and to admit it as something negative that came from the hidden part that we all possess, who whispers negative things and thoughts of self-conscious worthlessness. I used to excuse my behaviors by calling it “honesty”, and claiming that I could “see underneath” of people, something that I claimed others couldn’t or didn’t want to do.
Negative criticism is like poison, poison to oneself and to others; we’ve all done it at one point of our lives, and there’s definitely nothing good that comes from it: It feeds our minds and heart with negativity, jealousy and hatred; and most of the time, all that hatred is not about the person who we are directing our hate to, but it’s about ourselves.
When we hate on someone, when we criticize negatively the way that another person look, dresses, speaks, acts… we’re forgetting that everyone is different, and that we can’t expect people to look like or to act like we wish or we want. We, as humans, tend to see only the negative things about people, but we pretty much always fail to see the good things that they do; we’re always expecting to catch the error, the mistake, the ugliness, so we have grounds to criticize them.
It was not until I met certain people, who were always criticizing people for how they look, what they do for a living, and how they chose to live their lives; that I realized how awful I was being, and how ridiculous is to judge others for what you see externally, rather than what there is internally that the eye won’t see. I realized that I wouldn’t want to befriend me, that I was a horrible person. I wasn’t working a minimum-salary job because I’m too lazy to get a degree and I don’t have any ambitions in life; but I was doing it because I had first to move out to another country, learn the language and work my ass-off while I waited to be able to get a university education because my parents couldn’t afford to pay for it. But people could not see that, and everything they saw about me was that I was a 27-year old working minimum salary and based on that, assumed that I had no ambition in life. So it’s the same thing for that forty-something old McDonald’s employee. You don’t know if he is studying college at night and working full-time during the day, you don’t know if he wasn’t able to get an education because he was taking care of his sick, elderly parent… you know nothing about that person and the reasons that made him/her to be doing that job.
At the end, you never know what things could happen in the future that may force you to completely change your life for the better or for the worst, and therefore change how you view it, and how you view people. So that’s why we should always be thankful for the things we have in our lives, we should not be so judgmental of others but instead, treat people kindly and understanding that everyone have good and bad times in life, that there’s always a reason behind everything, that everyone makes mistakes, that everyone has different opinions and experiences.
Happy Spring Sunday (even if it’s still snowing in Eastern Canada)….